


Like Running On Quicksand

by rikke



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Side Hazuki Nagisa/Ryuugazaki Rei, Side Nanase Haruka/Tachibana Makoto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 17:43:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4401305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikke/pseuds/rikke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It took a month of dropping hints, cajoling, ordering, and then straight-up bribing to get Sousuke to join Rin on Iwatobi’s camping trip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Running On Quicksand

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Haku’s “Sun Dried” fanbook and cooking sourins (even if this fic turned out not to actually have that much cooking in it and this dumb story should in no way be associated with her works because that is high quality sourins ok). A+ 10/10 would recommend [you guys should all get it](http://massdeformityinc.storenvy.com/)!! I wish I had joined this fandom earlier so I could read her older books...;o;

There was one ancient television in the dormitory common room. No one actually knew where it had come from, and Rin was pretty sure it violated dorm policy, but it was grainy and received three channels on a good day, so no one had bothered getting rid of it.

Tonight, Sousuke was the one cooking, though, and Rin had already finished egg-beating duty, so he’d flopped on the couch and switched the television to the one channel with halfway intelligible reception. It was playing an old nature documentary.

“Did you know,” Rin said, “that quicksand isn’t quick at all? Apparently, if you don’t struggle, you could just sit there indefinitely until someone comes to pull you out.”

“I did not know that,” Sousuke said just audible over the sizzle of the fried rice he was making.

“If you’re fast enough, you can actually run on it and it bounces,” Rin continued, squinting at the man who was, indeed, sprinting across the top of what looked like extremely muddy water.

“You don’t sink?”

“Not as long as you don’t stop running,” Rin said. “Did you know that there’s whole entire tangles of animals that people have dug up from these places? Apparently one animal would get stuck and a predator would come try to eat it, and then they’d both be stuck, and it just kept going.”

“Very interesting,” Sousuke said in a voice that said he absolutely did not care.

Rin twisted in his seat so he could turn and look at him. “We’re still on for camping tomorrow, right?”

It had taken a month of dropping hints, cajoling, ordering, and finally straight-up bribing with two week’s worth of tonkatsu to get Sousuke to agree to join Rin on Iwatobi’s camping trip. Technically the season was over, and Makoto and Haru were third years so there was no point in them continuing with club activities. There was even less reason for Rin and Sousuke to join them, but Iwatobi wasn’t great at following convention at the best of times so they’d planned a so-called training camp right before graduation.

“You still owe me three week’s worth of tonkatsu,” Sousuke said. “Hand-made.”

“The deal was two weeks, and I never agreed to cook,” Rin protested.

“I want tonkatsu sandwiches for lunch tomorrow,” Sousuke said, adding sauce to the rice which was starting to smell mouth-wateringly good.

“I am _not_ packing lunch for you,” Rin said.

“Four weeks then--”

“There aren’t even four weeks left in school!”

“Five--”

“Fine, I’ll make the damn sandwiches, but you have to come shopping with me after dinner. If we can’t find pork, you don’t get sandwiches,” Rin said and rolled his eyes when Sousuke turned just enough to shoot him a grin.

Sousuke turned back to the food, and Rin let his gaze linger for just a moment on the stretch of Sousuke’s T-shirt tight across his defined shoulders. It had been months since the last time Rin saw them in action, bursting like wings through water. If anyone deserved to be professionally swimming, it was Sousuke.

“Set the table,” Sousuke said, and Rin got to his feet, switching off the static of the television and going to grab the bowls.

“Smells good,” Rin said, handing him one bowl and then the other to fill. Usually, it was easier to just eat in the cafeteria or go out for food, but both he and Sousuke enjoyed cooking, so on nights when they had more free time, they would cook dinner together. Now that the swim season and exams were all over, they’d taken turns cooking almost every day of the week.

Sousuke handed the bowls back to him, and then reached around Rin’s other side. For a moment, Rin felt Sousuke’s fingers brush along his waist, a warm touch of Rin’s own shirt pressed to his skin. Then Sousuke grabbed the lid and stuck it on the pan to keep the rest of the rice warm.

They sat down at the small table together, and before Rin could even say “Itadakimasu,” the common room door burst open and Momo came sprinting in.

“Are there leftovers?” he asked, eyes wide and hopeful.

“We haven’t even started eating yet,” Sousuke said.

“If you didn’t help, you don’t get to eat,” Rin added. Momo had the uncanny ability to tell exactly when Rin and Sousuke were cooking and whine until they fed him despite definitely not being invited.

“But you made so much,” Momo said, going into the kitchen anyway and grabbing an additional bowl.

Rin sighed and gave in. “Ai, you can come out. I know you’re there,” he said.

A moment later, a sheepish Ai came into the common room from behind the door where he’d been waiting. Momo always dragged Ai with him--probably because he knew that while Rin had no problem kicking Momo out, Ai was like a puppy, and Rin had a hard time actually getting mad at him.

Sousuke grinned at Rin and raised an eyebrow. “You’re spoiling them, senpai,” he said.

Rin kicked him under the table. “The two of you are doing the dishes,” he said to Momo and Ai.

“But mom,” Momo said.

“What did you just call me?” Rin demanded, narrowing his eyes on Momo and watched in satisfaction as a shiver streaked up Momo’s back.

“Nothing,” Momo squeaked.

Sousuke snickered, and Rin kicked him again.

With his team settled around him like family, sometimes Rin wanted things to stay this way so badly he ached. But in three weeks, he and Sousuke were graduating and going their separate ways.

 

* * *

 

Sousuke put up less of a fight than Rin expected on the morning of the trip. It only took Rin shouting at him twice before he flopped off the top bunk, looking grumpily tousled when RIn shoved his towel and toothbrush at him and pointed him toward the shared toilets.

“You have ten minutes before breakfast and then we’re going,” Rin said.

Sousuke grunted something noncommittal, but he was back after fifteen minutes, looking more awake, but still grouchy about the whole thing.

“Do I really have to go?” Sousuke said in a rare whine.

Rin held up a huge bento case. “I made you eight tonkatsu sandwiches.” It was a little overkill even for Sousuke’s appetite, but Rin wanted to ensure his good mood when they met up with Haru and the others.

Sousuke brightened visibly, and Rin quickly held the bento box out of reach. “For lunch, you idiot,” he said. “Here.” He handed him the two onigiri he’d gotten at the nearby 7-Eleven and a bottle of soymilk. “Breakfast and then we’re going.”

And since, despite Rin’s best efforts, Sousuke still dragged his feet, by the time they got to Iwatobi, everyone else was already at the school gates. Even down the street, Rin could see Makoto fussing with the floppy sunhat he’d stuck on Haru’s head, and Rei counting and recounting the various backpacks and coolers they had stacked by the gate.

“Rin-chan and Sou-chan are here!” Nagisa was first to notice them and then barrelled face-first into Rin’s middle. For someone who was nearly a head shorter than Rin, Nagisa’s hugs had all the force of a small torpedo.

“Damn it, you made me lose count again, Nagisa!” Rei said, shoving his glasses up on his nose where sweat was making them slide down, and started all over.

“We’ve got three more,” Rin said, tossing down his own dufflebag and the tent that he and Sousuke would be sharing. Sousuke put down his own duffle. It had taken a whole additional argument for Rin to convince Sousuke not to carry all three bags on his own with his bad shoulder.

“Where’s Gou?” Rin asked.

His question was answered when a truck rumbled down the narrow street at breakneck speed and came to a stop neatly in front of the school gates.

“Good morning, everyone!” Gou beamed at him from the driver’s seat.

Rin couldn’t decide between asking her how she’d gotten a truck, why the others were letting her drive a truck, or since when had she learned to drive a truck at all. He settled on, “You’re not old enough to drive.”

“I have my moped license,” Gou said. “Close enough. Load up!” she said, ignoring all of Rin’s protests as the others obeyed.

“Sousuke, say something!” Rin kicked him in the shin where Sousuke was, against orders, loading up both Rin’s dufflebag and their tent.

“I trust Gou’s driving more than yours,” Sousuke said.

“Traitor,” Rin said. “Makoto, talk some sense into them.”

“I don’t know how to drive either,” Makoto said, looking apologetic.

Rei and Nagisa were the same age as Gou, and Haru...Rin infinitely preferred Gou driving to even the idea of Haru behind the wheel of a moving vehicle.

Rin lost the argument about Gou’s driving primarily because no one else had any license at all, and Rei had completely overpacked so there was no way they’d be able to fit that many bags and coolers onto a bus. The truck was the type that farmers in the area used to carry wheat or livestock, and had just one long bench in the front that could fit three people maximum, so no matter what, they were going to be breaking half a dozen driving laws.

Rin did win the argument about sitting in the front seat with Gou, though, and took Sousuke because he didn’t trust Sousuke in the back with Haru even if Makoto was there.

Makoto handed Sousuke the map and address, which Rin confiscated because Sousuke could navigate about as well as Makoto could cook. Then, with a cartload of Iwatobis in the back, they were on their way.

“Where are we going?” Sousuke asked as Rin tried to get the GPS to work.

“I heard about this great beach camp from the baseball team,” Gou answered. “It’s only two hours away and supposed to be really nice and quiet. I got us two cabins--”

“You got cabins? Why’d you make us bring a tent then?” Rin asked.

“ _Because_ ,” Gou said, shooting him an indignant look, “Each cabin has two bunks each, and I’m the manager so I get one for myself. Anyway, this is an Iwatobi Swim Team trip and you’re the moocher here, so you get the tent.”

“Hey, you were the one who invited us,” Rin said.

Gou had, indeed, been the one to invite Rin on the three-day two-night camping trip. With everyone’s inevitable dispersement after graduation, she wanted a last memory together. She had also told him to make sure Sousuke came no matter what it took.

About five minutes into the trip, Sousuke was asleep again, half leaning against Rin with his mouth open. After being roommates for the better part of the year, Rin had learned that Sousuke had picked up a napping habit since they had been kids, and dragging him out of the bog was more difficult than winning against Haru on some days.

“If you drool on me…” Rin warned and elbowed him in the side.

Sousuke gave a little snort and leaned more heavily on Rin who gave up and let him.

“Has he said anything?” Gou asked. “About after?” She shot a look at Sousuke, and her eyes went soft. Although he had always been Rin’s friend, Sousuke had come over often enough as kids that Gou still saw him as a second older brother.

Rin shook his head and shifted to get a little more comfortable under Sousuke’s heavy weight. “We haven’t talked about it,” he said. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but every time the moment seemed right, Sousuke would shift and Rin would see the outline of the brace beneath his shirt, and all his words would run off the surface.

“What about university?” Gou asked.

“He hasn’t said anything,” Rin said. “He’s going to physical therapy three times a week, but other than that…”

Gou sighed. “And Sousuke has _perfect_ muscles,” she said.

Rin snorted laughing. “You’ve really got to quit that hobby. It makes you sound like a pervert.” But with Sousuke pressed against his side--all warm, hard planes--he found it hard to disagree.

Gou elbowed him. “You know, you should talk to him,” she said softly.

“I do talk to him,” Rin said. “I talk to him every day.”

Sousuke shifted and his head lolled onto Rin’s shoulder. He caught a whiff of almonds and told himself he had to make sure Sousuke stopped using dispenser handsoap as shampoo. Beneath that was the musk of sweat and detergent. He felt Gou’s eyes on him for a moment longer before she turned back to the road.

 

* * *

 

Iwatobi’s baseball team was clearly full of liars because the beach was crowded with people--from families with small, screaming children, to teenagers playing beach volleyball.

Haru took one look and headed for the ocean.

“Wait, Haru-chan! We have to unpack first, and talk about the schedule--” Makoto barely caught his arm in time, and Haru gave him a peeved look.

“Okay, Makoto and Haru are in charge of checking in, Nagisa and Rei are in charge of putting everything inside, Oniichan and Sousuke are in charge of making lunch, and I’m going to go park,” Gou ordered after they had unloaded everything from the back of the truck. They were stopped in front of a line of cabins facing the beach, and random people were coming in and out of several of them.

Rin felt a little like he should have taken lessons from Gou before captaining this last year, because even Haru obeyed, following Makoto into the small check-in office.

Rin and Sousuke lifted one of the coolers that Rei had brought.

“Don’t we have tonkatsu?” Sousuke asked.

“After you’re done, there’d hardly be enough for everyone,” Rin said and threw open the lid to the cooler. Every inch of it was packed tight and color-coded from frozen fish to canned spam to vegetables and fruit to packets of instant noodles.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Rei said proudly.

Rin laughed, shaking his head, and pulled out the jar of kimchii and meat that Rei had packed. “Kimchii burgers it is,” he said.

 

* * *

 

Because it was Iwatobi, Rin wasn’t entirely surprised when the entire afternoon was spent playing on the beach instead of doing actual training exercises. It started when Haru wanted to go swimming after lunch so naturally, Rin challenged him to a race.

“First one to that rock wins,” Rin said, pointing to a random boulder to the far end of the beach. Before he’d even finished talking, Haru had already taken off running down the beach toward the ocean.

“Wait, don’t forget sunscreen!” Rei shouted, chasing after him with a bottle.

“Sou, you want to come?” Rin asked, pausing despite Haru’s considerable head start now.

Sousuke was helping Gou set up a giant beach umbrella, and he shook his head. “You know I can’t swim anyway,” he said.

Rin bit his lip. “I--”

“Go have fun,” Sousuke said. “I’ll hang out with Gou here.” He grinned. “We’ll come up with the training regime of your life so don’t exhaust yourself.”

Rin looked between where Rei had caught up with Haru in the surf and was squirting sunscreen on Haru’s shoulders, and Sousuke who was holding the beach umbrella with his good arm, face half-shadowed in the shade. He was wearing a casual pair of swim trunks made for the beach and sand unlike the jammers everyone else was wearing. Beneath his sandy T-shirt, Rin could still see the bulge of his black brace.

Sousuke rolled his eyes which was all the warning Rin got before he felt a sharp slap to his ass. “Go,” Sousuke ordered. “You owe me six weeks of tonkatsu if Samezuka loses to Iwatobi.”

Rin flipped him the bird but took off running down the beach and dove in as soon as the water was deep enough for swimming. He couldn’t tell if it was the sun or Sousuke making his skin burn.

 

* * *

 

By the time they had raced to the rock (Haru won) and back (Rin won), Nagisa had managed to procure a beachball from somewhere, and dragged Makoto and Rei both into the water with him. Rin ended up on Nagisa’s team and they were beating the shit out of Makoto and Rei--partially because Nagisa was a dirty little cheat and had no problems splashing salt water into Makoto’s face (ineffective against Rei’s glasses), or attempting to pull Rei’s jammers down to distract him so Rin could steal the ball (very effective against Rei).

When Rin glanced back at the beach, his eyes settled immediately on Sousuke despite the crowds of people at the beach, still sitting under the umbrella and chatting with Gou. She laughed at something he said, and he handed her a water bottle.

The next time he glanced up, it took a moment to spot Sousuke because a group of girls had congregated by the umbrella, and Gou didn’t seem to be there anymore. He was no longer wearing either T-shirt or brace, and without them, Sousuke’s shoulders looked broad and tan and unblemished.

After a moment, Sousuke got up and followed the group of girls to a volleyball net set up further down the beach where a couple of guys were waiting. He saw one long-haired girl in a bikini touch Sousuke’s arm, small, pale hand grazing the tan skin by Sousuke’s elbow. Pressure clogged around his throat.

“Watch out, Rin-san!” He heard the Rei’s warning shout just before the beachball nailed him in the head.

“Ow!” Rin said as the beachball bounced back into the water.

“Sorry,” Rei said.

Rin saw him follow the direction of his gaze until he settled on Sousuke who had just set the ball in the air. “Will that strain his shoulder?” Rei asked.

Makoto, Nagisa, and Haru who wasn’t even really playing all stopped, and Rin felt four pairs of eyes on him.

Rin grabbed the ball and threw it back at Rei, knocking his glasses off. “Sou can take care of himself.”

 

* * *

 

By the time they dragged themselves out of the water, the beach had begun to clear out as day visitors headed home. Rin borrowed the shower in one of the cabins to wash the sand and salt off of himself, feeling clean again, if somewhat sore when he came back out.

“Not enough sunscreen, I keep telling all of you,” Rei said as soon as he saw his face, and tossed him a bottle of aloe lotion. “Also, Gou-san says you and Sousuke-san are on kitchen duty for the rest of the trip.”

“Unfair,” Rin said. “What about the rest of you?”

“Do you really trust them to cook?” Gou walked through the cabin door just then. “You’re all athletes who need good, balanced meals, and since you don’t like my cooking--”

“Protein powder belongs in protein shakes,” Rei said.

“Oh please, you cook based on color combination,” Gou sniffed. “Sousuke’s waiting for you,” she said to Rin.

Rin nodded and slung his towel around his neck before he walked out the door, rubbing Rei’s aloe lotion onto his face.

Sousuke was already at the grill, turning a series of steaks when Rin came up to him. He grinned when he saw Rin’s face. “You should have listened to Ryuugazaki, huh,” he said. He had both shoulder brace and shirt back on now.

“Shut up,” Rin said. “I didn’t see you putting on sunscreen either.” He kicked Sousuke’s leg.

“Yeah, but I don’t burn as easily,” Sousuke said. Unfairly so, Rin thought, because Sousuke had turned two shades tanner, but his skin wasn’t red or peeling.

He took the extra skewer from Sousuke and joined him next to the grill. The temperature had cooled from the day and Rin basked in the heat from the grill. A few of the cabins had been rented out as well, and the nearby food stalls were still crowded with customers. In the distance, the sun had settled into a running red along the horizon.

“So...how was volleyball?” Rin asked, staring intently at the browning meat in front of him.

If Sousuke was surprised that Rin had seen him playing, he gave no indication. “Fun,” he said.

“It didn’t strain your shoulder?” Rin asked.

Sousuke rolled it automatically. “No, it feels okay.”

“Are you sure? You shouldn’t be taking your brace off. You don’t want to strain anything.”

Sousuke glanced at him this time. “Yeah, I said it’s fine.”

Rin dropped his gaze back to the grill. “Where are they anyway?”

“Who?”

“Your new friends,” Rin said, and when Sousuke just looked confused, added, “The ones you were playing volleyball with, genius.”

Sousuke shrugged. “I don’t know. They went home probably.”

“That girl looked like she liked you,” Rin said. “Did you exchange emails?”

“Rin…”

“Are you going to start playing volleyball now?” Rin plowed on, aware that he was babbling now, but afraid that if he stopped talking, Sousuke might actually answer one of his questions. “That’ll still require you to use your shoulders, you know, so if it’s going to heal, you may as well keep swimming. I mean, I don’t know that much about volleyball, but--”

“Are you mad at me about something?” Sousuke asked.

Rin could see the loose grip of Sousuke’s big hands, long fingers, on the handle of his skewer. He shook his head. “Of course not,” he said, but his laugh sounded dry even to himself. “I’m going to get the plates,” he said and walked as quickly away as he could without running.

 

* * *

 

The problem was that too much had stayed the same after five years apart, but enough had changed in one year together again, so Rin knew he’d be fine without Sousuke. He knew Sousuke would be fine without him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted him to be.

The problem was that their friendship had started with swimming. His relationship with Haru was based on swimming alone, and Rin highly doubted they’d have ever been friends if they weren’t both swimmers. But being with Sousuke was as easy and natural as diving in water, but they had never been without water before.

The problem was that sometimes he caught himself looking at Sousuke the way Makoto looked at Haru, except that Haru was moving to Tokyo with Makoto after graduation. And when they thought no one was looking and Haru reached for Makoto’s hand, Makoto tangled their fingers together, and they still had swimming, but they didn’t need it.

The problem was that sometimes he caught Sousuke looking at him too.

 

* * *

 

The tent was a lot smaller than the picture had made it look on the box, and it was hilarious how Sousuke’s feet actually stuck out of the entrance when he lay down straight.

“You are such a fucking giant,” Rin said gleefully as he pulled the zipper down, trapping Sousuke’s feet outside. They had set up the tent on the beach just outside the cabins, but while several of the cabins had been rented by others, there were no other campers along the beach except for himself and Sousuke. With their sleeping bags both rolled open and the thing canvas over their heads, he felt like they were ten again, building a blanket fort in Rin’s living room and playing until they fell asleep beneath it.

“Oi, stop that,” Sousuke said and nudged him with his knee.

Rin caught his foot and shot Sousuke a grin just before he locked it under his arm and tickled.

“Stop that!” Sousuke shouted, struggling and laughing all at the same time.

“Stop what?” Rin asked and huffed as he tried to keep Sousuke’s involuntary kicking under control.

“You know exactly what--”

The sudden lean in Sousuke’s posture was all the warning he got before Sousuke suddenly sat up, effectively yanking his foot out of Rin’s grip.

Rin found himself suddenly flat on his back, staring up at Sousuke’s face, illuminated by the small lantern that Gou had given them for the tent. In the light, Sousuke’s eyes were a dark, dark blue, and Rin thought Sousuke might have knocked the breath out of him because he felt trapped in the mire, unable to breath.

He was vaguely aware of the sound of voices outside their tent, the slosh of the waves against the beach some distance away, the noise from the food stands. But the sound of Sousuke’s breathing, the heat from the cage of his arms around Rin, were all he seemed able to think about.

“Rin…” Sousuke said and Rin tried to remember if his voice had always sounded so deep. He saw Sousuke’s throat bob as he swallowed.

“We should ask for a refund,” Rin said.

Sousuke blinked and the moment was over as he rolled off and onto his back again. “What?”

“I bet that’s a problem they never thought about--a guy being too long to fit inside a tent,” Rin said, and was proud of how normal he sounded because his heart was going as fast as a rabbit. He turned on his side, propping his cheek up on his hand. “We should get Makoto out here to sleep with you and see if his feet stick out too.”

“I’m wearing your socks,” Sousuke said and made a grab for Rin’s dufflebag.

“No way! Your feet are huge, you’re gonna stretch them!” Rin said, struggling to get to the dufflebag first. “Wear your own.”

“Mine aren’t as warm,” Sousuke said

“You should have thought of that when you decided to go camping in a tent too small for you,” Rin said heartlessly, pushing his duffle out of reach of Sousuke.

“You and Gou should sleep out here then. I should get the cabin,” Sousuke said, going limp and letting Rin nudge him with his foot.

“You’d abandon me with Gou?” Rin said. “You know she snores.”

Sousuke laughed. “Don’t let her catch you saying that.”

Rin tossed a pair of his socks at Sousuke’s head. “Once we go home, you’re buying me a new pair,” he said.

Sousuke laughed and pulled them on.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that in their time under the beach umbrella, Gou and Sousuke really had come up with a training regime from hell, because Gou woke them up at the crack of dawn--or rather, she woke Rinup by banging two loud pots together. The clanging startled him so badly he nearly toppled the tent when he jumped up.

“What? What’s going on?” Rin said, and then nearly tripped over Sousuke when his head hit the top of the tent.

“Ungh,” he heard Sousuke grunt and felt a pair of arms dragging him back down to the ground by his middle. “Shut up, it’s early,” Sousuke mumbled into his waist, and then turned to bury his head back into his pillow.

“Time to get up, you two! Morning exercise before breakfast!” Gou said and unzipped the tent. “Is that Sousuke’s foot outside?”

She took one look at Rin’s confused face, and Rin saw her eyes drop to Sousuke’s arm, still loose around his waist. She gave him a wink and a thumb’s up. “If you two want privacy tonight, I’ll let you use my cabin,” she said.

It took Rin’s sleep-addled brain until Gou had zipped back down the tent to process what she’d just said. “Gou, you little brat!” he shouted, throwing Sousuke’s arm off of himself.

Another half hour later of alternately waiting to use the cabin washroom and prodding Sousuke awake, they set off jogging down the beach. They started off in no particular order, but after awhile, Rei had established himself at the head of the group as the best runner with Nagisa determinedly trailing right behind him--sometimes by force because anytime he fell behind by too far, he’d yank the back of Rei’s tank top until he slowed down. Makoto and Haru jogged together--or rather, Haru more or less tried to follow Rei’s trail, and Makoto kept pace with him, chatting about nothing in particular and looking far too easy-going for this time of morning.

Rin, of course, ended up next to Sousuke who was glaring at nothing in particular, which Rin recognized as his sleepy face. In fact, for most of the year, he and Sousuke had gone running together nearly every day in the morning as part of Rin’s daily workout. It took at least twenty minutes of jogging before Sousuke was willing to actually speak in full sentences. But despite his clear distaste for moving anytime before 10a.m., Sousuke insisted on running with him.

Whatever pace Rin set, Sousuke always followed. It was one of those things that had settled into routine after the first couple of times, and Rin didn’t even think anything of it anymore. Soon, though, they wouldn’t be living with each other and working out together in the morning and making food together and going to bed together. Maybe someone else--someone at a new job, a new university, a new city--would be the one to drag Sousuke out of bed in the mornings.

Rin put on an extra burst of speed, shoes digging into the soft sand, but whatever he did, Sousuke kept up right beside him. They passed by Makoto and Haru, and when Rin glanced at him, Sousuke still looked like he was just doing it out of rote habit. The sand kicked up behind him, biting little pinpricks into the back of Rin’s legs. They passed by Rei and Nagisa the next time Nagisa yanked on Rei’s shirt, and took off down the beach.

He could hear his own breath, ragged in the wind, and blood thundered in his ears as they whipped down the beach.

“Where are you guys going?” he heard Nagisa shout.

When he looked next to him, Sousuke was definitely awake now and looking at Rin with some consternation. He opened his mouth, and Rin broke into a flat sprint. A trickle of sweat ran down Rin’s brow.

Sousuke kept up with him all the way to the very end of the beach where they hit the pier before Rin finally slowed to a jog and then a walk, his heart still thundering wildly in his chest.

“Warn a guy before we start racing,” Sousuke said, coming to a slow stop next to him as Rin pulled up the edge of his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face. He was also breathing hard and his face was red.

“You didn’t have to follow me,” Rin said, panting.

“What are you talking about?” Sousuke said, brows drawn down as he looked at Rin. “You always make me follow you cause you think I’ll get lost otherwise.”

“Maybe you should figure out where you’re going then,” Rin snapped.

Sousuke jerked back as though slapped, and Rin found himself caught in his eyes like morass.

Rin swallowed and stared down at the sand, trying to regulate his breathing until it slowed again. The water lapped slowly into the ground beneath his running shoes, carrying away a layer of dark beach.

“Are you mad at me?” Sousuke asked for the second time in two days.

“Stop asking that,” Rin said.

And then the others caught up, and Rin was all too relieved to turn away.

 

* * *

 

Gou made them all protein shakes for breakfast and then sent them swimming relays in the ocean with the exception of Sousuke who was put on lunch duty. By noon, the beach had filled up again, and when Rin had dragged himself back onto dry land, Sousuke’s grill was surrounded by the same group of volleyballers from the day before.

“Oi, are you giving away our lunch?” Rin said when he got closer and saw one of the girls holding a plate of ribs.

“Are your friends back, Sou-kun?” the girl asked.

It had been hilarious when Nagisa declared Sousuke to be “Sou-chan,” but Rin had been friends with Nagisa for years, and anyway, Nagisa did that to everyone. Sousuke had known this girl for less than 24 hours.

“This is Matsuoka Rin,” Sousuke said in the world’s shortest introduction of him.

Even the girl looked a little thrown by the complete lack of clarification of exactly who Rin was. “I’m Takada Emi. We all go to high school in town so we’re here all the time,” she said when Sousuke made no move to introduce her. “Are you also on the Iwatobi Swim Team?”

“No, Samezuka,” Rin said. “Same as Sousuke.”

Sousuke raised an eyebrow at his clipped tone.

“I’m going inside,” Rin said, ignoring him, and pushing past them into the cabin. He flopped onto a random bottom bunk. Through the screen door, he could hear the rest of the Iwatobi team introducing themselves to Sousuke’s new friends.

Sousuke didn’t have a friendly personality by any stretch of the imagination, but he was, as Gou said, extremely good looking and extremely fit so he was almost always popular anyway. Worse, once you got past the initial stoic intimidation, Sousuke was good and kind and gentle, and he always noticed when Rin had a long day and surprised him with a can of Pocari, or did both their laundry loads together, or got notes from their classmates when they had to miss class for a swim meet.

It was Nagisa who entered the cabin in the end with a plate of ribs for him. “That’s Rei-chan’s bed,” he said.

Rin gave him a noncommittal grunt and turned to face the wall. He felt the bed dip when Nagisa sat down next to him.

“Are you and Sou-chan fighting?” Nagisa asked.

“Why does everyone think we’re fighting?” Rin snapped and immediately regretted it because Nagisa had the best puppy expression out of anyone he knew and used it like a pro. He sighed. “We’re not fighting.”

“But you are mad at him,” Nagisa said, settling back on the bed and reaching over to pet Rin’s hair.

He had been the first to completely take to Sousuke, and Rin thought that maybe Nagisa knew just how important it had been to him.

“I don’t have a reason to be mad at him,” Rin said. It wasn’t Sousuke’s fault that he couldn’t swim anymore. It wasn’t Sousuke’s fault that he couldn’t become a professional. It wasn’t Sousuke’s fault that he couldn’t move to Australia with Rin come next semester the way Haru was going to Tokyo with Makoto. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.

“You should talk to him, Rin-chan,” Nagisa said.

“Why does everyone keep telling me that?” Rin snapped and flopped onto his back to stare up at the wiring holding the mattress of the top bunk. He was so used to seeing it in his own bunk at Samezuka, trace the dip of it with his eyes when Sousuke was lying on it, hear the squeak when Sousuke turned in his sleep and the even sound of his breathing. “Talking won’t change anything. It doesn’t just magically fix things.”

If it did, he’d already said everything he could. He’d told Sousuke he would wait for him, and all Sousuke had said was that he’d consider it.

“Because if you don’t talk to him,” Nagisa said lightly. “He’ll never know how much you love him.”

Rin choked. He at up so fast he hit his head on the top bunk and fell back down again, cradling his head. “I don’t--what-- _Nagisa_ \--”

“You two have been skirting around each other all year. Man up and stop running.” Nagisa grinned and put the plate of ribs on Rin’s stomach. “Finish eating and then Gou-chan wants us to do some hiking,” he said and left again.

 

* * *

 

Apart from the beach, the little seaside town was home to what Gou claimed to be good hiking spots, but in reality, was more or less a swamp.

“Watch out for puddles,” Gou said at the entrance of the trail she’d led them to.

“This is not a trail,” Nagisa whined.

“There was some bad rain here last week is all,” Gou said, indignant. “It’ll be fine as long as you avoid the puddles and follow the path to the end.”

The end, as far as Rin could tell, was somewhere farther inland, but the trail was overgrown with trees and looked to be more made of mud and water than actual dirt road. He could hear his running shoes squelch every time he shifted. This was going to be disgusting.

“I’m going to take the truck and meet you there,” Gou said. “You have two hours so get jogging.”

“Jogging again?” Nagisa sighed loudly.

“You’re not graduating, Nagisa-kun,” Gou said. “You still have next year so you better train hard.”

Sousuke could participate again, but instead of hanging by Rin like he normally did, he went up ahead with Makoto this time, and Rin found himself in the back with Haru.

Most, if not all, of Rin’s conversations with Haru consisted of three things--1.) swimming, 2.) water, or 3.) mackerel. It wasn’t for lack of trying because Rin sure as hell had tried hard to steer conversations away from those three items, but Haru had the most one-tracked mind of anyone he knew and was stubborn as hell. In fact, the only person he had ever seen get Haru to talk about something other than those three topics was Makoto, and that was questionable because half their conversations took place in complete silence so Rin could only take Makoto’s word for it.

So it was to his complete surprise when Haru spoke first, and it wasn’t about any one of his topics of choice.

“The first time Makoto kissed me,” Haru began.

“Oh my god,” Rin said. “Why are you telling me about your love life?”

Haru shot him a look and continued his slow jog. For a guy who was so fast in water, he was incredibly slow on land. “The first time he kissed me, we were not in the pool,” he said. “Or the bath,” he added as though it were significant.

“Good for you?” Rin said. “Wait, you take baths together?” He thought better of that. “Nevermind, I don’t want to know.”

“I’m going to Tokyo with Makoto after we graduate,” Haru continued with the same straight face. It really wouldn’t take much to outrun him at all, but Rin had a sort of masochistic, morbid fascination with what Haru was trying to get at.

“Everyone knows, Haru,” Rin said.

“We’re going to different schools,” Haru said.

Rin blinked. “Wait. What?” He’d assumed, when Makoto told him that Haru was moving with him, that they’d been accepted to the same school.

“I’m going to Tokyo U. Makoto’s going to Waseda,” Haru said.

Rin literally could not remember a time when Makoto and Haru were not together at all times--for Christ’s sake, Makoto still fetched Haru from the bath every morning to go to school. “Are you going to be okay?” he asked.

“We’re both adults,” Haru said. “We’re going to have different careers in the future.”

“Well, obviously,” Rin said. Makoto was good at swimming, but he didn’t have the same drive--the passion that Rin or Haru or Sousuke did. For Makoto, it had always been a hobby he enjoyed, but he could do fine without it.

Haru gave him another significant look, and when Rin stared blankly back at him, he actually had the audacity to click his tongue at him.

“What the hell are you annoyed at me for?” Rin demanded.

“So can you and Sousuke,” Haru said very slowly as though he were speaking to a small child, and Rin felt a little offended because Haru was the socially challenged one here.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rin said.

“I love swimming,” Haru said.

Rin was beginning to really regret this conversation. “I think I like you more when we’re swimming and you aren’t trying to talk to me.”

“But my relationship with Makoto is more than just swimming,” Haru said, ignoring him.

“Are you fucking bragging?” Rin said. “Tch, talking to you is impossible,” he said and put on an extra burst of speed to leave Haru behind.

“Sousuke is more than just swimming,” Haru called behind him.

Rin turned to glare at him. “What the fuck does that even--”

And that was when Rin found one of the deep puddles Gou had warned them about the hard way.

 

* * *

 

“Rin! Rin, are you okay?”

The first thing Rin was aware of was Sousuke’s deep voice, and next, of his large hands cradling Rin’s head, prodding until he hit a sore spot and Rin winced. He felt something wet and slimey trickle down his cheek.

“How far is it to the end of the trail?” he heard Sousuke ask.

“By my calculations, another 12 km to the end, but just 3 if we go back the way we came,” Rei said.

“I’ll take him down then,” Sousuke said. “Someone run ahead and tell Gou.”

Rin opened his eyes, but the sun felt too bright.

“Can you stand?” Sousuke asked. “You hit your head.”

Rin struggled to his feet, leaning heavily on Sousuke, and felt a little like throwing up. “I’m okay,” he said. “You’re going to get dirty.”

Sousuke gave him an exasperated look. “Priorities, Rin. I think you have a concussion,” he said. “I’m taking him to the hospital.”

“You can’t carry him with your shoulder,” Rin heard Nagisa say. He thought he might actually be leaning on Sousuke’s bad shoulder, but couldn’t right himself enough to stop. “Makoto, go with them.”

Then Rin felt himself being loaded onto Makoto’s broad back, the uncomfortable jolt as he was carried, and the brush of Sousuke’s broad fingers on his face.

“Stay awake,” Sousuke said. “We’ll be there soon.”

 

* * *

 

The next time Rin woke up, it was to a doctor prodding at him and shining a bright light into his eyes.

“It’s not bad,” the doctor said after more prodding, and then opened the door to the room where Sousuke had apparently been pacing. “You’ll be fine.”

“Is he okay?” Sousuke asked immediately as he came in. Makoto trailed in after him.

Rin was glad the room wasn’t spinning anymore. Both Sousuke and Makoto’s clothes were covered in mud, and a tuft of Sousuke’s hair stood up sideways, caked in the gray stuff.

“He has a mild concussion,” the doctor said. “We’ll keep him here for a couple of hours just to make sure, but he should be fine. Does he have family you can contact?”

“His sister will be here soon,” Sousuke said. He wasn’t even really looking at the doctor as he spoke--just staring at Rin.

“All right. I’ll be back to check on you in an hour,” the doctor said and left the room.

“I’ll go see if Gou and the others are here yet,” Makoto said, shooting Rin a worried smile, and left as well.

Once the door shut behind him, the room was quiet, and Sousuke exhaled.

“I’m okay,” Rin said when Sousuke didn’t say anything first.

Sousuke scrubbed a hand over his face and pulled a chair over to sit by Rin’s bed. “I’m gonna kill Nanase,” he said.

Rin blinked. “What? Why?”

“He didn’t stop you from falling,” Sousuke said.

Rin laughed and then immediately winced and regretted it when the headache started. “It wasn’t his fault, Sou,” he said and reached up to touch the tuft of Sousuke’s hair. It didn’t lay down flat even when Rin tried to smooth it down.

“What were you two talking about anyway?” Sousuke asked.

Rin wasn’t sure if it was his concussion or if Sousuke really did sound too casual, looking down at his hands as he asked the question.

“His and Makoto’s love life,” Rin said and felt gratified when Sousuke looked torn between horror and disbelief. “Yeah, that’s how I felt too.”

“That’s why you ran too slow?” Sousuke said.

“What?”

“For quicksand. You sink if you don’t run fast enough, remember?” Sousuke chuckled and shook his head. “It figures your sister would actually make us run in quicksand.”

“So you were paying attention after all,” Rin said and bit back a yawn, grinning, as he settled back in bed. He felt inordinately exhausted.

Sousuke leaned forward, propping his chin in one hand, and looking at Rin with a small smile on his face. “I always pay attention when you’re talking,” he said.

Rin felt Sousuke’s other hand touch his face, smoothing back his hair and tucking it behind his ear. And because he had a concussion, he figured he deserved it and let himself lean into the touch, making a wordless murmur as his eyes drifted shut again.

“Sleep,” he heard Sousuke say. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

 

* * *

 

When they were twelve, Rin had begged for about a month straight before Sousuke agreed to swim the relay with him.

“I just don’t get why you want to do the relay so bad when we can compete in fly instead,” Sousuke said, because that was what it came down to. For that particular event, either they each competed individually or as a team, and while Rin loved swimming against Sousuke, he even more wanted to swim with him.

“Just try it once and you’ll see,” Rin promised. “This is what my dad did. It’ll be so much fun.”

And then they’d lost. Their other two teammates had just started swimming not too long ago, so they were already slow by the time it was Rin’s leg of the race. Rin managed to close the distance just a little, but Sousuke had to finish freestyle. By the time he hit the water, it was clear he would never catch up.

“Why did you swim like that?” Rin demanded after it was all over. “You never even tried.”

“What’s the point of trying when we’d lose anyway?” Sousuke snapped. “It’s all individual once you’re in the water--I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s swimming.”

But instead of patting him on the head or holding his hand or even teasing him about it when Rin started tearing up, this time, Sousuke wouldn’t look at him. “We’re better off not swimming together, Rin,” he said.

So Rin had his heart broken at twelve-years-old, and he’d run to Iwatobi and never looked back. When Sousuke came to Samezuka five years later, tall and handsome and a nationally ranked swimmer, and told him he wanted to swim the relay with him, Rin felt all his old dreams coming back with renewed vengeance.

Then it turned out Sousuke would never be able to swim seriously again, and now, Rin was afraid of hope.

 

* * *

 

Rin was allowed out of the hospital by nightfall with instructions to take it easy and return immediately if he felt sick at all. He found out that the others had moved all his things from the tent into Gou’s cabin so he could have a bed.

They’d decided that their last night required a bonfire so Rin spent an hour watching the others gather driftwood into a huge pile before lighting it on fire as Sousuke prepared sausages and corn and wrapped mackerel in tinfoil to stick beneath the fire.

“Don’t touch anything!” Gou ordered when Rin attempted to get up and help. She proceeded to sit him on the sand in front of the fire and throw about three jackets and a sweatshirt on him. “Stay warm and just sit there.”

“Yeah, we’ll do the rest,” Nagisa said.

“I’m bored,” Rin said until Sousuke set down a cooler of drinks next to him.

“You can hand out drinks,” Sousuke said.

“That isn’t even a job,” Rin said, kicking him half-heartedly.

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. “No strenuous activity,” he said.

“Kicking you isn’t strenuous--it’s relaxing,” Rin said. “You want me to be relaxed, don’t you?”

Sousuke grinned and handed him the first fully roasted corn. “Here. Eat and be quiet,” he said.

Rin glared at him but accepted the corn.

As the sun set and the bonfire burned, they ate and Nagisa started off a round of random questions. It began with him asking Rei what animal he’d be if he could choose--no one was surprised at butterfly. Then Rei asked Nagisa what swim gear he’d get if he had a thousand dollars--flippers and diving gear, apparently. Then they were all taking turns picking a person and asking a random question. Rei picked Rin in the first round and asked which Olympics location he’d most want to swim at--America or Australia--America, because they pulled no punches when it came to hosting, and Australia because Rin loved the country.

During the third round, Gou picked Sousuke and asked, “Sousuke, what are you going to do after graduation?”

“That’s not a hypothetical,” Sousuke said.

“Just answer,” she said.

“I don’t know,” Sousuke said, short. “Hazuki--do you believe in aliens and why?”

The questions got progressively weirder as it grew later, and then Gou declared she was going to bed and that Rin should go in soon too, and left. Rei and Nagisa were next to retire, and then Haru and Makoto went for a last night time jog, which left Rin and Sousuke alone.

The bonfire had burned down to charred embers, but it still smelled like fire and sea.

“You should get to bed,” Sousuke said after a moment. “Your head must still hurt.” Under the moonlight, Sousuke was a dark line looking out at the silver ocean.

And maybe it was his head and maybe it was the expression on Sousuke’s face after Gou had asked that question--a closed-off, guarded look that Rin hadn’t seen in a long time. Sousuke had always been taller and broader than Rin, and grown up, he was longer than a tent and looked like nothing could break him. But beneath the white moon, Rin could see the shadow of the brace beneath his shirt, and his back bowed alone beneath the weight--and Rin stopped running.

“Sou,” he said. “Gou’s question--what are you going to do after graduating?”

In the distance, a seagull cried, and another answered.

Sousuke glanced at him and then leaned back on the heels of his hands. “Does it matter?” he asked just audible above the quiet wash of the waves.

“Yeah,” Rin said. “Yeah it does.”

Sousuke turned toward him with that gentle look that Rin glimpsed every time he turned his head just quickly enough, when he caught Sousuke’s reflection when the window glared just right, in those slow moments before Sousuke fully woke up in the mornings.

“I can’t swim for you anymore,” Sousuke said. “I can’t swim _with_ you anymore.”

His hand was on the sand by Rin’s, three inches distance between them. They were the hardest three inches Rin ever reached.

“Haru and I--we only have swimming,” Rin said. His hand shook when he put it on Sousuke’s own, bigger one. His skin was still sun-warm and sandy. Rin’s voice shuddered. “But you and I--we were always more than that.”

For a moment, Sousuke didn’t say anything. Then Rin felt the hand beneath his move and turn over to grasp his own. Sousuke pulled him close, and Rin’s cheeks felt wet against the warm puff of Sousuke’s breath, and he wasn’t sure who moved first, but they were kissing.

And even though Rin was the one who’d decided to stop running, he still felt like the one who had been caught, and he didn’t ever want to be let go.

 

* * *

 

Rin jumped to the rude clanging of pots as Gou shouted from outside the tent.

“I thought I told you to sleep in the cabin!” she said. “Are you two decent? I’m coming in!” she declared and unzipped the tent.

“I swear this isn’t how you’re supposed to treat someone with a concussion,” Rin said, cradling his head to his knees and trying to block out both sound and light.

Sousuke mumbled something nonsensical into Rin’s waist where his arm was still wound.

“I take it the talk went well?” Gou asked, far too chipper, looking pointedly between Sousuke’s arm and Rin’s face.

“Get out!” Rin said and threw a pillow at her.

She dodged it. “I’ll excuse the two of you from the morning jog, but you have a half hour to get up and start packing.” She tossed the pillow back in the tent and zipped it back down.

“Sou, did you hear that?” Rin said, groggily prodding him in the arm. “Gou wants us to get up.”

“Five more minutes,” Sousuke mumbled and Rin could feel his mouth move against his shirt and the warmth of his breath.

“We have to get up,” Rin said.

“I’ve waited a whole year for this, she can handle another five minutes,” Sousuke said and tightened his grip.

“Just a year? Please, I’ve been waiting for over five,” Rin said. He was rewarded with Sousuke’s sleepy grin when Rin leaned down to kiss him.

“Oh we’re going by that now?” Sousuke said in between kisses. “Then I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

“Liar,” Rin said. “You thought I was a girl the day we met.”

“A very pretty one,” Sousuke agreed and kissed him again. He still looked half asleep, but happy like he was having a good dream.

“I will not hesitate to punch you,” Rin said.

“You challenged me to a race, remember?” Sousuke said, and he let Sousuke pull him back down to their sleeping bag fort. The sunlight filtered through the canvas of the tent lit everything a warm pink.

“Yeah and I beat your pants off,” Rin said.

“We weren’t swimming that time.” Sousuke reached up and brushed Rin’s hair back from his face, tucking it behind his ear.

Rin kissed him again. “We weren’t,” he agreed.

“So what do we do now?” Sousuke asked, dragging Rin down into the cradle of his arms, and shoulder-injury and all, Sousuke always felt safe and solid and so very himself. “Rin, I really don’t know what I’m going to do once I graduate. It was always swimming for me up until now--ever since you dragged me into it.”

When they had first met so many years ago, Sousuke’s smile had caught Rin, and Rin had taken Sousuke's hand, and they had been sinking together ever since.

“I don’t know either, but we’ll figure it out,” Rin said. “The two of us together. We’ll figure it out.”


End file.
